Julia
Dating coach and writer
Julia
Available to everyone
Jan 08 18:26

How to Meet Your Man

You’re out with your girlfriends.  You’re having a great time talking and laughing.
 
When suddenly, out of the corner of your eye, you spot him.  A man who sets your heart a twitter.  Could he be your man? What do you do? How do you know if he’s available to meet you?  You could just go up and ask him.  Be brave.  Speak first.  See if he’s interested. However, I wouldn’t advise it.
 
Why not?  You might ask.
 
Because when you approach a man and make the first move, you don’t know if he’s your man. He may someone else’s man and is acting polite.
 
So how do you meet your man?
1.  Catch His Eye
 
Catch his eye and smile for five seconds.  Yes, it’s tough.  Yes, it feels like forever and you feel like a slut. Your lip sticks to your teeth because all the saliva has drained out of your mouth and down to your pits.
 
But it’s important to do it anyway.
 
Catch your man’s eye and hold the gaze long enough to see if he’s interested, available and safe to meet you.
 
If he is, he will approach you. 
2.   Wait for Him to Speak
When your man approaches you, let him speak first. Let him start the conversation. Let him say whatever he wants to say. 
 
It’s tough when your man is thinking of what to say to you for the first time.  He doesn’t want to look like an idiot. He wants to say something that will impress you or make you laugh. He wants your respect.
 
So no matter how awkward or clumsy it feels, just sit, smile and wait for him to speak.
 
Even if he says something stupid like, “Where’d you get your shoes?” (You’ll laugh about it later.) Your man is brave. He’s a hero. It takes courage for your man to walk across the room and say “hello.”
 
3.  Follow the Leader
After he speaks, be receptive to whatever he says. Let him talk and lead the conversation. He’ll tell you who he is. He’ll give you a lotta good info.
 
This is good news for many reasons:
 
You don’t have to be clever. You don’t have to perform. You don’t have to impress him with your accomplishments.  You get to relax, listen to his stories and be entertained by them or not. Hear what he says. Hear what he’s offering. See how he makes you feel.
 
Your man will want you and show you he does. He will ask for your number, make a plan to see you and care about your feelings.
 
If he’s not your man, he won’t do these things. Instead, he’ll ask you to call him and expect you to want him more.  And if he does make a plan, he will rarely follow through. 
 
And that is how to meet your man.
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