nyoxt 

Waow...the number of posts...

The theme of this bunch is "scopophobia" for some reason unintentionally. Idk what's it is about putting big bulging eyes on the pages

Sketched some linden blossoms in June:

*a month later* OH RIGHT a habit to throw everything here
A sketch dump for december+january like in good 'ol days when deviantart still existed. I'm trying to do the thing where I force myself to doodle at least ten minutes per day, if it evolve into more time- good, if not- at least s process occurred. 
Here's some concepts for Snakes and other members of the crew, doodles from oneshot with friends
and dragons

Oh ow my progress at regaining art joy slowed down a bit, but it's still going.
Also I forgot to resurrect my habit of throwing all doodles in here. 
I'll try to improve that :)

Sometime last month I've been thinking about Paul Fryer's Dark Morning Star sculpture, and did a little study of the pose, and then a wonderful situation of "hmm what if i put An Character here?👀" happened. 

and like. Okay! The nature is healing we're reaching saint sebastian-escue levels of OC art??? That's SUCH a good sign!!!.........uuuuuh what am i suppose to do about it though, what's the idea/what do i actually want to get in the end???

....Anyway, my first thought was to go with some....church windows-like shapes on the background (because of the reference), but it wasn't vibing with me.
Next test- remove background, and think more about colors+lights:

I keep chewing on a cyber-shooty-boy and resurrecting my art ability, how about I share some details :) 

The backstory is that he was some corporation’s cyberzombie/meat drone-making project for a military contractor, classic Living Weapon Tortured In The Lab stuff. Maybe also "helping" in research about Essence (and it's reduction). Free will not allowed, obviously. Until one day he was stolen by a team of shadowrunners, and, by a sacred shadowrunning tradition, Something Went Wrong, cyberboy regained control over himself, panicked, got into combat mode, killed and/or seriously hurt folks who stole him and felt pretty disturbed by everything that occurred. Still, coming back to The Lab was untempting to say the least, so he stripped some gear from unlucky guys (they don't need it anymore,right?!), and skedaddled into dark alleyways to exercise his new shiny free will! How good for him!

-Goes by “Ace” cos he overheard someone in da Lab calling him “an ace up the sleeve” a number of times, and decided to reclaim it.

-The personality and memories of the guy (of japanese descent, that's an easter egg just for meeee))), who “donated” the body for lab torturing are completely erased, and whatever is going on in his head now- is new.
I like to think that after his old personality was wiped, he got installed something like a personafix chip/rudimentary AI to handle interactions, and new forming organic personality grasped at it like a vine to a wall. Which impacted his speech quirks+thinking process. And during the escape he ejected it out of his head, which allowed him to actually leave, but at the same time it means that Ace needs to figure out all interactions without any crutches, and his brain doesn't work completely right, and his vocabulary is limited, and it takes him a long time to form a phrase or find a word, or learn new behavioral patterns. So he desperately needs a rehabilitation, but lacks resources-connections-patient people- good environment to get one😢. 
- His chrome is decent, especially by street standards,  but not like...the best of the best.

🎃A little something for the season🎃

Got out of hospital, and instantly got another exhausting disease! Whateverrrrr
What's important is that I'm home, and in more or less alive state. And I started to draw for a little bit, and it's all bad but at least I'm not having an anxiety attack every time I open CSP (I was literally shaking sometimes lmao)

And the thing I'm doodling right now is a cyborg I'm finally bringing into shadowrun. You can find his space opera incarnation somewhere down below is one of the posts with old arts.

His shadowrun version lost his beautiful brown eyes privileges, beard and hair privileges were inherited by some good purple hands, and his cyborg abilities got such a drastic downgrade, that Ace from space opera would kill me for this XD

Hhhhhhh it's sure've been some time. And of course it's vent. I need to learn how to shut the fuck up

This year just keep giving me kicks after kicks. First Dar, then multiple months of mom being in oncology limbo, all this accompanied with creative block the size I've never had before, and now look at this- I killed a friendship of 5 years, which final notes made me doubt that I'm a person worthy of love! And of course, right after that I got to be hospitalized for an emergency surgery. Which would be fine in general I guess, but the timing is mean af. Thank for nothing, stupid meat prison. At least physical pain is destructive. 

Sure could use some kind of uplifting W right now, but ha. Haha. 

At least I've been hit with a new wave of "grief frenzy", so I hope I can finish some stuff when I'm back from hospital... 

However, here's a little something, so subscribers on here won't be without updates for months! :D

Last year I bought some acrylic markers to try, and ended up liking this material a lot, so I've been filling a tiny sketchbook with stuff. Haven't shown them earlier, because I was too lazy to scan or photograph them.

I can't really call these "sketches", it's more like...tiny low-effort paintings)
Lanyard for testing out the colors: