IELTS Writing Task 2: Repetition or development?
Repeating rather than developing an idea is a Task Response weakness I talk about on a regular basis in my IELTS classes.
And, as usual, to vividly illustrate this weakness, I write two excerpts on the same topic. Here is an example. Which excerpt repeats the ideas and which one develops them? ❓
Topic: "The numbers of plants and animals is decreasing in most countries. Why is this happening? What can be done about it?"
1.
"Both reasons for this development stem from human activities. The first one is that as the population of the planet grows, people increasingly encroach on territories where wildlife lives. They do so because they have to invade plant and animal habitats, and since the number of people is high, it, in essence, replaces biodiversity. After intruding into natural environments, people cause flora and fauna to die out due to human intervention."
2.
"Both reasons for this development stem from human activities. The first one is that as the population of the planet grows, people increasingly encroach on territories where wildlife lives. They do so for a range of purposes, from construction and expansion of cities to clearing the land for farming and agriculture. These activities either obliterate flora and fauna entirely or cause them to move to new habitats, where they might not necessarily survive."
KEY: The first excerpt repeats the same idea over and over again—in different words. The second one develops it.
Don't let paraphrasing or fancy language fool you—or don't fool yourself by thinking that if you've written something complex, you've developed your ideas.
"Development" means adding new bits of information—examples, comparisons, causes, effects, definitions, you name it—in every clause or sentence so that the paragraph moves forward.
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