Reinkorn

Well, I've been gone for quite a while. I'm currently trying to get my life back on track after some serious upheavals. My mom died. It happened about a month ago, and I'm still trying to come to terms with it and pull myself together. At first, I was just cleaning up the house, sorting out paperwork and other things. And now I’m trying not to fall out of society, to maintain communication with many who came to my aid during a difficult period.

My mother has been seriously ill since 2014. Over the past few months, the cancer has left her very debilitated, and treatment has stopped helping. All these years I hoped that the disease would recede; we tried a huge number of lines of therapy, and each one gave us hope at first. But over time, they all stopped working, and my mother's condition slowly worsened. In October, her body stopped fighting the disease. She was losing her strength, dying in my arms. She's gone.

Now, I'm trying to force myself to live. I'm forcing myself to do at least something. I try to spend some time with my brothers, they help me to get my head and my affairs in order. I will try to return to work here soon. Creativity is what I would like to continue doing, it is what inspires me. I am grateful to each of you for your support, thank you for staying with me.

Earlier I said that my mother's condition had improved, but it turned out to be only a temporary effect. Over the past month, she has already undergone 6 pleural punctures. Hydrothorax does not go away, her condition has been deteriorating significantly all this time. One-time procedures did not help to stabilize her condition for long and after a few days she became ill again, we reached the point where her lung was completely hidden on the x-ray, and surgeons pumped out more than 5 liters of this fluid at a time. This is very risky, but there is no other choice. Now she is again hospitalized with constant drainage and an oxygen mask. Although she feels better, her mobility has suffered greatly. These tubes and medical equipment are everywhere, although I have gotten used to it over all these years, it is very depressing.

Today I turned on my PC for the first time this week to write this. Unfortunately, I am catastrophically short of free time and energy to devote to creativity.

I'm not likely to have any new content here anytime soon, so if you subscribed for the weekly projects, you may want to pause your subscription for now. I'll send you a notification when I'm back up and running. Thanks for being here, love you all!