Finally I have finished and submitted my annual report at work and I can breathe out. I have been working very hard past several months and almost casted aside all of my projects and hobbies. 

Right now I feel very emotionaly fatigued, not only because of my work but also because I had to reevaluate all of my interests. Mainly because of AI. 

Honestly I have felt really lost recently, 'cause I didn't know what to do: should I continue writing and drawing, or should I quit and concentrate only on dolls and streams.

One part of me, the logic one, felt it was the right thing to do - choosing fields that still belong to humans, but the other part of me was suffering.

Inside, in my soul, I felt casted aside, betrayed by this rapidly developing crazy technologies. 

At one point I thought that maybe I should act like many others and utilize AI to the fullest: create covers by prompts, write books by prompts and don't give a damn.

But this just didn't click with me. 

I felt like I'm throwing away my own abbilities, my skill, my efforts, the time invested into growth, my expertise, like I'm throwing away myself as a creative person, betraying myself, lying to myself and the people who get connected with my creations. 

Right now I feel emotionaly low and decided to take some time to rest from all the info garbage that makes me overwhelmed.

I decided just to create things when I feel like doing it, like when I was a child.

Back then in my childhood I didn't think about money or approval or whatnot, I was simply doing the stuff I liked and felt happy.

So even if my creations never get noticed and be buried by tons of AI stuff, even if the art world colapses tomorrow, I don't care, I just want to be me, that little girl I used to be, who was creative and was happy just by doing things she liked.

P.S. I don't mean to say that AI is a 100% evil. No, it's a helpfull tool. But it is unhinged and can (and does) cause reall emotional and material damage in its current state of total freedom.