I passed the first two big exams this week. There's still a lot to do in January (I need to get through the first half of the month, it should be a little easier later), let's see how it goes.
And small results of the year. Good things:

• I've moved into a new apartment and now I live alone (still comically close to family, but at least I've gained some freedom and independence). Repairs are underway right now - it's a bit exhausting, but it's nice that it's happening at all and I'm at this stage of my life.

• I've been going to the gym for a year now. I wouldn't say that I've changed a lot outwardly (although my father often says that there are some changes), but physically I seem to feel better. Frequent exercise has a good effect on the health of the neck, apparently. I'll never get rid of headaches again, but I've learned how to prevent them and stop them as quickly as possible.

• I drew more than two hundred artworks in a year.

If you look at the album here (VK) - about 190, but it does not include Boosty fanarts, comics and several works that I do not want to publish in the Russian-speaking segment. If you take all these works into account, the bill comes to about 240 works - that's a lot, more than I've ever managed to draw in a year. I also see a slight increase in quality - it's nice to know that you're getting better every day.

• I have the best and most loving partner in the world. I love you, Rin, more than anyone.

The bad stuff:

I'm tired. I've been working all year, more than I've ever worked in my life, more than my resources can afford, and I'm exhausted. Exams three months a year, a long and hard move, repairs, and lots, lots, LOTS of work at the university for people who continue to treat my work like shit, no matter how much time I spend on it and no matter how good it turns out to be in the end. I don't remember when I ever slept properly and could afford a day off- no fees, no repairs, no university, no family squabbles; but I remember well how I cried all June, every day, almost constantly, and how I just wanted to get a good night's sleep and relax. To be honest, I still want to. Even when I have an hour or two to spare, I can't bring myself to rest, I'm constantly afraid that I have a job for the future that I need to do right now, as if I can't afford to take a deep breath for a minute.

Another thing I noticed was that it became mentally difficult for me to appear in the media. This has been happening for years, but especially this year: I can't find the time to post something on Twitter or on FA, and I haven't been able to reply to my friends in diskord or Telegram for several months. Even when I have time, I feel too exhausted and anxious to say anything, it's hard for me to find the words and have a dialogue for a long time. I don't want it to look like rudeness on my part: I appreciate these people, I appreciate the subscribers in the media. But now I have enough resources and time to log into social networks and messengers only if it is related to study, work or family. I'm ashamed of that. But I can't change anything yet.I don't think the next year or two will be any less of a hassle: summer internship, graduation, looking for a new job or a master's degree, and all that. I know I can handle it, but I really wish that "coping with all this" didn't mean "being completely depressed." I hope I can adjust.

Thank you for being with me this year. Thanks to friends and acquaintances, thanks to subscribers. I owe you a lot.Thanks Rin. I love you more than anything in the world, my girl.

Happy New Year!