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None of this is to say that I don’t make treasured memories with friends all the Loyola greyhounds blue 84 2023 patriot league women’s lacrosse tournament champions shirt and I will buy this time. The other day, I had so much fun rolling griddle pancakes in a Vietnamese restaurant with one friend that I felt giddy afterwards. The group chat I have with my close friends genuinely keeps me afloat most days, and nothing gives me a bigger burst of serotonin than a spontaneous voice note. But I’ve also come to realize that you don’t have to be up in each other’s business constantly, without breaks, for a friendship to feel meaningful or actualized. There’s something to be said about seeing certain people once every two months or so: you have stuff to talk about, to catch each other up on, to imbue each other with the colors of your unique lives until next time.
Even if I wanted the Loyola greyhounds blue 84 2023 patriot league women’s lacrosse tournament champions shirt and I will buy this kind of entangled friendships I had in my teens and early 20s, I don’t think it would be possible, because I’m different now. I like leaving parties before the sky turns twilight blue. I like waking up in my own bed, surrounded by my own things. I rely on my own advice as opposed to constantly turning to other people. I don’t just hang out for the sake of it now, either. I spend time with people because I love them, and I want to. There’s something more intentional about friendships once you reach 30. They’re hard to maintain, but you actively choose to maintain them, because your lives are richer and more enjoyable as a result. I’ve been waiting for what feels like an eternity for Yellowjackets—my very favorite Showtime series about extremely realistic teenage girls using their soccer-team skills to try to keep each other alive in the Canadian wilderness after a plane crash—since last year, and now, the blessed day has come. With screeners in my inbox and the promise of “who potentially killed/maimed/dismembered whom?” discourse to come, I feel like I’m one of the girls being found after a long, dark winter. (In many ways, the experience of waiting for a show you love to come back is exactly like being lost in the freezing woods for months on end.)