irisart 

Finally I have finished and submitted my annual report at work and I can breathe out. I have been working very hard past several months and almost casted aside all of my projects and hobbies. 

Right now I feel very emotionaly fatigued, not only because of my work but also because I had to reevaluate all of my interests. Mainly because of AI. 

Honestly I have felt really lost recently, 'cause I didn't know what to do: should I continue writing and drawing, or should I quit and concentrate only on dolls and streams.

One part of me, the logic one, felt it was the right thing to do - choosing fields that still belong to humans, but the other part of me was suffering.

Inside, in my soul, I felt casted aside, betrayed by this rapidly developing crazy technologies. 

At one point I thought that maybe I should act like many others and utilize AI to the fullest: create covers by prompts, write books by prompts and don't give a damn.

But this just didn't click with me. 

I felt like I'm throwing away my own abbilities, my skill, my efforts, the time invested into growth, my expertise, like I'm throwing away myself as a creative person, betraying myself, lying to myself and the people who get connected with my creations. 

Right now I feel emotionaly low and decided to take some time to rest from all the info garbage that makes me overwhelmed.

I decided just to create things when I feel like doing it, like when I was a child.

Back then in my childhood I didn't think about money or approval or whatnot, I was simply doing the stuff I liked and felt happy.

So even if my creations never get noticed and be buried by tons of AI stuff, even if the art world colapses tomorrow, I don't care, I just want to be me, that little girl I used to be, who was creative and was happy just by doing things she liked.

P.S. I don't mean to say that AI is a 100% evil. No, it's a helpfull tool. But it is unhinged and can (and does) cause reall emotional and material damage in its current state of total freedom.

You can rotate camera, actually =D

Oh my! It was not obvious at all, but I should've checked the settings in the options menu.

It turns out, you have to press mouse wheel in order to rotate the camera. But it is so inconvenient, so I changed it to the mouse's side button (thumb button =)

I hope I'll get along with this game well, 'cause it's pretty interesting, though there are so many things to learn =O It's a little bit overwhelming for now ^^

I know I haven't posted anything for ages and haven't streamed for even longer than that. And I'm really sorry about it. But right now I'm soooo very busy. Most of the time I work on Saturdays as well and even if I have time for a stream I feel emotionaly low. Several times I intented to launch the stream, but in the end I didn't feel enough energy to do that.

I hope that this will change in the future. But for now we have what we have.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Illustrarion (cover) to my new story

It's my original character Ardana from the story that I've written.

It turned out that I streamed 4:25 hours instead of 3 hours as I thought. 

My stream somehow dropped and started again when I was afk eating 0_0

And I only found it out when I saw the vods and it got me puzzled XD 

I felt there was something strange during the stream, the time flow felt too slow at one moment... lol 

The solution is - no breaks and no eating next time =D

Recently I've been extremely busy. 
I hope I'll be able to find some time for a stream by the end of this week. But not sure yet. Sry -_-

Today I won't be streaming: have some important things to do. 

Instead of today my stream will be on Tuesday or Wednesday.

I hope to see you there! ^^ v

I finished this work yesterday. 
Thought I would work on it during the stream but then... I changed my mind, 'cause I knew I wouldn't be able to finish it if I streamed XD  
Thanks Effen! ^^
I hope you like the result!